Searching for Zabolee: Badwater 146

Thank you...Thank you...Thank you!!!

There are so many people to thank and I'm sure I'm going to leave out a ton. First, I'd like to thank the Badwater running community. Ever since I announced my crossing, so many people provided information about the race, how to prepare, and ultimately how to be successful in the crossing. Big shout out to my coach/mentor Liza Howard with the Sharman Ultra Endurance Coaching group. I take confidence in every training block knowing that my plans are researched based and well thought out. Another big shout to my Badwater Crew: Liza Howard, Andy Ballard, Ridouane Amallah, and Eisha Carozza! I could not have done what I did without their care and passion to keep me moving forward. Thank you Erin Dunn for holding down the Lone Pine fort while Eisha helped out.

THANK YOU to everyone who sent me encouraging words throughout my crossing.

Special thanks to Merrell for hooking me up with trail shoes and for Waypoint Professional Group for sponsoring the logistics behind this crossing.

THANK YOU...THANK YOU...THANK YOU...to everyone who contributed to our fundraiser for The SERE Association's Memorial Fund. We managed to raise over $2,500.00 in contributions for the association.

To Aja, you were present throughout and in my darkest moments...thank you. It is in those moments where I found clarity, meaning, and purpose.

Why Badwater 146?

I've had the worst luck getting into races that I wanted to run this year. Some of the other races that I had interest in weren't going to be an option based on my travel requirements for work. Having just got back from running Marathon Des Sables (MDS), I needed another goal to focus on. While running MDS, I experienced some serious unraveling of emotions that were bottled up and they continued to unravel even after the race. The only way I thought I could manage these emotions was by establishing another goal that was so far over the top of my ability and to simply go for it.

The Badwater 146 Concept

I was doing a little research and found Badwater Ben Jones' website. This website explains the traditional Death Valley Course race and the goal to connect the lowest and highest points in the United States. The result is a crossing that is a 146 miles in length that starts at the Badwater Basin (-282.2') and finishes on the summit of Mt. Whitney (14,505'). Runners who reach the summit of Mt. Whitney will have run through 120+ degree surface temperatures; gained over 25,000' in elevation; burned a little over 20,000' calories; and have another 11 miles to run/walk/crawl back to the Whitney portal after they reach the summit.

The rules are simple:

Windows for attempts are July & August
Must be transparent with your crossing attempt
Start window is 6am-11am any day of the week
Must be one continuous effort. Time must be cumulative.
Crew vehicles are allowed
Runners can "stake out", meaning they can leave the course but must return to the exact spot to continue the effort and the time continues to run.

These are the basic rules and there are other caveats depending on how a runner plans to run the crossing: solo supported, solo self-contained, etc. Here is a link to the Badwater 146 website for more details.

Check out the route:

Screen shot from Faster Tracks

Preparations

Training plan: Liza constructed a 12-week training plan that started at 50 miles a week and ramped up to a couple of 70 mile weeks with a slight taper into Badwater. I have been using the Maffetone (MAF) Method over the last year and have built a solid base using my heart rate as an indicator of effort. Each week consisted of speed runs, middle distance MAF runs, and long road runs with specific goals and training tasks to work on. This plan served me well and I felt very fit and conditioned for Badwater 146.

Heat Acclimation: I did not worry about any heat acclimation strategies during the month of June and July. To acclimate for the crossing, I spent most of August in Phoenix, Arizona where the temperature averaged above 110*. I trained for most of my runs during the hottest part of the day. I also focused on implementing a solid recovery plan to help with the acclimation process. With this plan, I was very confident in my ability to run in the heat.

Equipment: Badwater 146 can be logistically demanding depending on how you are running the crossing. I was running the crossing as a SOLO +w/Crew which means I have a crew of people at the ready to assist me and/or mule for me throughout the crossing. We rented a Toyota Sienna minivan as the crew vehicle. Everyone needed to be fed throughout the crossing and everyone needed their own running equipment. Essentially, we needed enough supplies to sustain four people for three days through the extreme temperatures and terrain of Death Valley and on Mount Whitney. It took the crew a couple of days to assemble the equipment as well as develop a nutrition and hydration plan.

Staged Equipment

Crew prepping the van prior to the start of the crossing.
Photo Credit: Ridouane Amallah

21 & 22 August - Preparing for the Crossing

The days leading up to the crossing was extremely nerve-racking. The emotional situation that I've been dealing with for months coupled with the stress of being a doctoral student, business owner, and a runner who is about to step off on an extreme ultra all came crashing down on me the week before the crossing. The Saturday leading up to the crossing, I was full of anxiety and pretty much came to the conclusion that I should not be running the crossing. To run Badwater 146 successfully, everything needs to be on-point and I wasn't feeling on-point at all! I called Liza and we had a conversation about what it meant to run Badwater and whether or not I should take on the risks. After an hour or so, we came up with a game plan to travel to Death Valley and simply feel out the energy and vibe of the crossing. The plan was too not stress about the crossing but rather show up on the starting line, take a few breathes, and reflect. If in this time of reflection, I can feel the calling, then I'll go for it. If I don't feel the calling, we party in Vegas.

The Calling...

It's 5:15 AM, Liza and I are loading up into the van and getting ready to head to the start line. I hardly slept and my hands are shaking due to the level of anxiety I'm experiencing. I had a major assignment due that I turned in late and now I'm trying to focus on the crossing. Liza reminded me to grab some food for the trip. We were in Stovepipe Wells and Badwater Basin is roughly 45 minutes away. As we drove, Liza talked to me and helped me work through some of the anxiety that I had. In the end, she tells me that this run may not be transformative or reveal any kind of newfound inspiration. We talked about how I already feel like I've been walking through Death Valley from an emotional and mental perspective. Now it's time to traverse the crossing in the physical and spiritual sense. I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breathes and reflected on my motivations. I fell asleep.

I wake up in Furnace Creek as the other two individuals on the team jump in the van. We have a second vehicle that we are logistically staging throughout the route. With everyone in the van, we drive the 17 miles to the basin. There's a lot of small chat with Andy working the radio station to find some kind of inspirational tunes. The satellite radio is failing to provide us with any kind of motivational tune. As we pull into the Badwater Basin parking lot, the station we are listening to starts playing, Going the Distance by Cake. This was exactly what I needed.

I get my running kit together, tie my shoes, re-tie my shoes, and head down to link up with the crew at the Badwater Basin sign. We take a couple of pictures and we give each other a big hug. We talk some last minute logistics. I set the stopwatch and start my SPOT tracker.

Photo Credit: Riduoane Amallah

The crew is slowly walking back toward the parking lot and I find a quick place to reflect. I look out across the basin and I feel the slight breeze hit my face. I close my eyes and take a couple of deep breathes. I try to breathe out all the negative energy I am feeling. I stand there completely still and feeling nature's energy and warmth. I start to feel the pull. I feel the urge to start running and I can feel the calling. I am alone, I'm afraid, and I don't care. I've gone through so much over the last few months that this calling feels good. I haven't been able to see myself being successful in this crossing. As I begin to run, I still can't see success but I make a pact with myself that each step, each drink, each bite of food, and each mile are going to be my successes. I run by the crew and here them cheering over my headphones. As I hit the parking lot, I start my GPS and take the first steps into my life changing crossing.

Badwater Basin to Stovepipe Wells (42.39 Miles)

Elevation Profile

My primary goal for this section was to run at my MAF-HR and not exert too much energy. I hope to get into Stovepipe Wells feeling like I ran a long easy run. This section contains lot's of little roller hills with a couple sustained uphill runs. Overall, my running in this section went very well. I averaged an 11:52 pace which is the training pace I was using in Arizona.

Photo Credit: Riduoane Amallah

The running was very second nature to me at this point. I would run the flats, power-hike any steep sections, and pick up the pace on any down hill sections. I had the whole crew for the first 17 miles into furnace creek. After that, Liza crewed for me. Each stop consisted of handing me a new water bottle, getting me a small bite of food, switching out the ice scarf and a quick sponge down with cold water.

We would do a quick chat about the next couple of miles and I would be on my way. It definitely started to warm-up as I entered into the afternoon. My running slowed down a little in an effort to keep at my MAF-HR. There was an increase in walking to slow the HR down but I still was running very well. Roughly 32 miles in, my left knee started to become irritated due to the camber in the road. We did a quick stop and Liza hooked me up with a good tape job. The last ten miles into Stovepipe was a run at a steady pace and I hit the front entrance of the hotel and was greeted by the whole crew. The plan was to stay in Stovepipe for an hour which would minimize the amount of time in the high heat of the afternoon. In that hour, I did a quick cool-down, ate some food, had my feet worked on, charged my watch, and got prepared to head out for the next section. I can not thank my crew for keeping me on time and constantly reminding me to do certain tasks. Overall, I felt good and I felt like I just finished a long easy run. This is exactly where I wanted to be. Although I still could not see my finish, I had experienced lot's of successes and I was ready to take on the next section. The crossing still called...

Stovepipe Wells to Panamint Springs

Elevation Profile

Stovepipe Wells was our basecamp for the crossing. We had hotel rooms and had our Whitney equipment staged out of here. This was also the location where we would do a crew swap and I would take on my first muler (pacer). The plan was for Liza to get some rest in the hotel and Andy will drive/crew for both Ridouane and myself. I left Stovepipe feeling very energetic and refreshed. Liza did an amazing job on my feet and left knee.

Liza getting me ready to handle the road camber - brutal on the knees

Everything felt stable at this point. I mentally broke down this section into two parts: the first part was uphill (5-7% grade) for 17 miles to Towne Pass and the second part was downhill (7-10% grade) and a slight uphill to Panamint Springs. Ridouane would mule me first and then I would meet Liza on top for the section into Panamint.

This was the absolute toughest part of the entire course. There's an approximately 4,700' climb over 17 miles. Almost immediately, I could feel the extreme temperature and my body was definitely reacting to the extremes. Ridouane and I moved pretty quickly out of Stovepipe and I was doing a run/fast walk routine. I'd run a quarter mile and then fast-walk a quarter mile. This allowed me to sustain a sub-13 minute pace. Although I was capable of pushing this pace, within a few miles my heart rate was soaring into the 190's. I could feel my body fatigue. The surface temperatures at this point exceeded 120*. I stopped and walked for a couple of miles to try and get my HR down but I was having no success. Roughly 5 miles into the run, I was slowed to a walk and pushing my heart rate pretty hard. I needed to stop and rest and work on developing a new strategy. The three of us devised a plan that required Ridouane to keep me cool in between the stops. Andy was only going to use the larger ice scarf's and we would switch those out each time we saw each other. The goal was to keep me soaking wet with cool water. We would continue this sufferfest for roughly five more miles. As luck would have it, clouds began to build around the high mountains and I was soon out of the "devil's grip".

I stripped down to my running shorts and got rid of everything that was soaked. Ridouane and I made some good time up to Towne Pass. It was already dark by the time we reached the top and met up with Andy and Liza. Once at the top, the crew was quick to change out batteries, get me something to eat and then talk strategy the following section. Liza and I would have roughly 13 miles of downhill and a slight uphill. I was looking forward to running this section at night.

Photo Credit: Ridouane Amallah

Liza and I pushed off into the dark and we immediately started lengthening the stride. Ridouane jumped in the car to head back to Stovepipe Wells for a night of rest and Andy continued to drive/crew for Liza and I. My legs were feeling pretty good but I was definitely starting to feel the fatigue of running through the desert. I could feel my body as it tried to recover from the heat challenges of the day. Liza and I passed the time by talking about lots of different things. We spent a lot of time talking about my current situation and simply letting me air out my grievances about the situation. It's been super hard to focus on success when you feel like a failure. Liza did an amazing job hearing me out, listening and asking questions. Before I knew it we had run over the half the distance and we were working our way across Panamint Valley toward Panamint Springs. I could see the lights of Panamint Springs above me which meant that we were in the low part of the valley and beginning the last climb to the Panamint. We arrived into Panamint Springs just before midnight on the 23rd. Our plan was to fill up the van with gas once we got to Panamint but quickly realized that the guide book is wrong and there are no credit card readers for the pumps. We hung out in the parking lot of the gas station doing some last minute adjustments and making sure we knew what the crew plan looked like as we moved up the winding roads toward Father Crowley Point. This section had limited pull-out locations and it was critical that Andy and I knew the distances between each stop. Just as we were about to leave, someone came jogging from the homes in Panamint Springs toward us and asked if we were doing the Badwater thing. He explained how he was friends with Bradford Lombardi and he usually looks out for Badwater folks. He told us that he could fill our gas if we had cash to pay for it. We quickly filled the van, thanked the gentleman and started our climb up toward Father Crowley Point.

Panamint Springs to Darwin

Elevation Profile

This section is roughly 18 miles with a major climb that finally exits Death Valley on top of the cold plains leading to Darwin. We left Panamint Springs with Andy as the mule and Liza back on driver/crew duties. Andy and I would power-hike through this section. We are managing members of a business and we used this time to essentially hold a business meeting and discuss issues we haven't had the chance to discuss in quite some time. Sometimes the discussions were very passionate and other times we had each other in tears laughing so hard. Our goal was to power-hike as hard as possible to Father Crowley point which is the bulk of the climb. We were making good time and hitting our pace but once again the camber in the road was doing a number on my left knee and now it was effecting my left ankle. Roughly 2 miles from Father Crowley point, my ankle felt like I severely sprained it. The camber on the road was so aggressive that the stiffness in my shoe was digging in and irritating the tendon below my left ankle. The only solution was to take one of the three pair of shoes that I brought and cut out a notch to relieve the pressure. After a quick stop and some shoe surgery, we were back on the road and headed to Father Crowley point. I couldn't believe how quickly my ankle subsided and we were back to a powerhike/jog routine. We cruised past Father Crowley point and continued to climb up and top out at Saline Valley road. Our headlamps were now shining on the Death Valley monument. We finally escaped Death Valley and we were roughly 4 miles from Darwin.

The last 4 miles of this section was the toughest 4 miles I've ever run. I became mentally exhausted and just wanted to lay down and sleep. I remember passing Liza several times asking me what I needed and I would reply with, "sleep, just let me sleep". She would reply with "no" and "keep pressing to Darwin where you can sleep". I was so tired that I was falling asleep while walking and would stagger all over the edge of the road. Andy would wake me up and I would start jogging again. During the running, I would stay awake but would fall asleep as soon as I stopped to walk. I was also beginning to mix my dream-state with reality. In my dreams, I was walking peacefully along a creek and then I'd wake up to my focus being on the painted line. The struggle began to fade as the sun began to rise. Andy and I watched the sun rise as I arrived into Darwin. I ran out the GPS to exactly 90 miles and then returned to the parking lot to meet my crew and get instructions. They gave me some food and something to drink and guided me to the passenger seat to sleep. They told me I have roughly 45 minutes to sleep and the rest of the time will be getting my feet prepped for the last haul into Lone Pine. I don't remember much after this other than laying down in the van and closing my eyes.

I had a very vivid dream where I was in my home and I felt tremendous amounts of love. I could see every picture in my home and I could feel the warmth of my cat as he laid by my side. I was feeling tired so I laid down on the couch and took a nap. I could feel the warmth of my cat on my stomach. He was cuddled on top of me. I was feeling a little cold so I reached up to grab a blanket and in this moment I woke up. I was completely disoriented. I was laying in the passenger seat with my jacket on my belly and Liza was sleeping in the drivers seat. I begin to moan and groan and within seconds, Liza goes "sssssshhhhhhh....go back to sleep...the alarm is going to go off in a few minutes". I felt like I was a little kid (hahaha) and complied to the request and rolled over and went to bed. I was quickly back into my dream and was woken up a few minutes later to Andy and Liza telling me to get up. I wanted to cry...I didn't want to be out on the crossing anymore. I think it was Liza who very sternly told me to get up and I snapped to it and started getting my socks and shoes back on.

Darwin to Keeler

Elevation Profile

After a few minutes, I was back out on the course and running again. By now, Ridouane was back with us and now in the driver/crew seat, Andy was headed to Lone Pine, and Liza was back to muling duties. The plan was for Liza to run with me until I reached 100 miles and then Ridouane would take me into Keeler.

I'm now 90 miles deep and beginning to realize that I still have 67 miles to go before I can come "off-point". I spent a couple of miles talking with Liza about strategy amongst other things. I was still feeling the pain in my left knee and I was beginning to feel very tired again. Once again, I would fall asleep as Liza was talking and I would wander out into the road. Liza decided that she was going to run the painted line and I was going to use her as a bumper. I would run into her and wake up and start jogging again. I don't remember much of these 10 miles other than having an intense focus to grind these miles out as hard as I could which at this point was not too fast. We started to get back into cell range as we approached 100 miles and Liza's phone was blowing up. She would check her phone and read off all the encouraging words that people were sending her to relay to me. This helped my morale so much! We met the van at 100 miles and did a quick celebration on the side of the road.

100 miles down!

46 miles to the summit of Whitney and 57 miles to a total finish

Riduoane is back in the mule position, Andy is still hanging in Lone Pine, and Liza is back to driver/crew duties. I have roughly 8 miles left before we reach Keeler and it is my goal to try and run/walk as much as I can. Riduoane and I start out by running a 1/4 mile and walking a 1/4 mile. We slowly ramp this up to running/walking for 1/2 mile increments. Somewhere along the way, Andy and Liza switch out and now Andy is running the van. We are keeping a good pace as we approach Keeler. It's getting hot out and all I want to do is get into Keeler and replace some much needed nutrients. For some reason, my metabolism is in full force and I'm starving. We relay to Andy that we are good heading into Keeler but he needs to find a good place to stop so I can eat some food. We link up with Andy and he tells us that he found a runner shack that a lady has set up for runners on the Badwater course. We go down to the shack and bust out the food. I eat a can of soup, a bunch of Doritos, two cheese sandwiches, a bagel, and a bunch of watermelon, and a Coke. It felt so good to put down calories once again.

Unbeknownst to me, Andy gets a call from Liza who asks how I'm doing and Andy relays that he's doing good and is eating and checking out Facebook. Liza tells Andy that she's headed back our way...haha. I hear the news that Liza is headed our way and I begin to get prepped to head out. She's been my driver for the last few miles and I know when she returns I better be walking or running. Everyone scrambles to get moving and Liza is now parked next to us. I begin to walk toward the road with the fattest belly ever. I was beginning to withdraw from the experience and starting, once again, to focus on things that had occurred over the last few months. I immediately began to feel depressed and down on my self. I started to feel like a failure again. It's so hard to explain how one can be doing something incredible but, at the core, feel like such a failure. I struggled with this as I left Keeler. To refocus, I checked Facebook one last time and see a message from Lisa Batchen-Smith:

Lisa: "You are Awesome"
Ricky: Thank you very much, body is doing ok, wishing I was running faster (paraphrased)
Lisa: "It's not about how fast, it's about a journey to the finish. You have an A-team behind you and Jay and I are sending you love and good energy"

I'm not sure why but those words resonated with me and I begin to refocus my efforts on the task at hand. I still wanted to run by myself but this time I had a purpose. Lone Pine, CA was my next destination and 14.5 miles was the only thing keeping me from being there.

Keeler to Lone Pine

Elevation Profile

Focused but still feeling down on myself, I still wanted to run alone. I thought I left Keeler by myself and started doing the same routine...run a little...walk a little. I have my headphones in and I'm jamming away to my favorite song. About 1/2 mile down the road, I began to sing out loud and I hear someone behind me. I'm a little panicked because I wasn't expecting anybody. I look back over my shoulder and don't see anyone. I start singing again and I hear a voice again. I look back over my other shoulder and see Liza behind me. I was a little annoyed because I wanted to run alone and wallow in my self-pity. Liza told me she wanted to run with me. I pulled my headphones out and welcomed her company. It was hard to focus on anything but the pain that I was feeling both physically and emotionally. I know Liza worked hard to get me to refocus and I was very appreciative of what she was doing. At this point, the slight camber on the road was beginning to irritate my knee. I slowed to a walk and became frustrated in that I know I should be running, but the pain was too great to bear. Trying to keep me focused, Liza pulled up the article that Lazarus Lake wrote about Robert Young and his attempt to run across the United States in record time. I agreed to listen as she began to read the article. I was under the impression that this article would only take up maybe a mile, BOY, was I wrong. I swear we covered 4-5 miles as Liza read the article to me. This definitely helped pass the time but dang Lazarus, that article could be condensed a little!

Roughly 1 mile from making the right into Lone Pine, CA.

I am now psyched to see the outskirts of Lone Pine and I'm roughly 6 miles from the Dow Villa which will be the transition point for the entire team. Liza breaks off and drives to pick up the climbing permits at the ranger station. I can now see Mount Whitney and all its glory. At this point, I am grinding down the miles and back to jogging. My knee hurts and my upper calf muscle is very tender. but I don't care at this point. I just want to get to Dow Villa and recover. I run down highway 136 watching the summit and the clouds move in and out of the mountains. I hit the intersection of highway 395 and make the right turn. I run the last 1.7 miles to Dow Villa and "stake" at the American flag.

Once in Dow Villa, the crew is quickly sorting through equipment and storing stuff we don't need in the hotel room. Everyone has a task and they are working through everything very meticulously. I am escorted up to the room where I take a quick shower, spread some chaff cream in places I can't mention and eat some food. I return to the room where Liza is ready to do one last fix of my feet and knees. She manages to find a knee brace at the store and my calf sleeves. I eat another big meal as she quickly works on my feet. I get a briefing from Andy about the plan for the next 22 miles. Andy is going to mule me, Liza is going to crew, and Riduoane is going to stay behind and pick up our reinforcement, Eisha Carozza. Now, that I'm in cooler temperatures, I load up my racing vest and Andy and I head out and begin the 11 mile stretch to the Whitney Portal.

Lone Pine to Whitney Portal

Elevation Profile

I'm now roughly 36 hours and 122ish miles into the crossing with roughly 45 minutes of sleep. As I leave Dow Villa, I do a quick assessment of everything. I take in the moment and my surroundings and make sure that I still feel the calling. The energy is great and it fills my soul. For a millisecond, I have an image of me walking up the summit ridge with all the SERE Brothers of the past. I tried to hold on to that image but it was gone just as fast as it appeared. I took this moment to reflect on those SERE Specialists that I knew who had passed away. This crossing was dedicated to them and I looked forward to feeling their energy and presence high up on the mountain.

My left leg was pretty stiff and I could no longer perform the run/walk routine. Andy and I tried our best to pick up the pace but I was starting to really feel the fatigue built up in my legs. At this point, I was moving about 24 minutes per mile. I felt like my grandma would actually give me a run for my money. For some reason, when I get late into a race, my ability to clearly think about navigation and distances begin to fade. Tonight was no exception. As we progressed up the road, I began to believe that Liza was driving longer than she should and we were moving faster than we were. In an effort to keep moving, Liza would very directly kick Andy and I out of the van and get us on the road. It was quite comical.

I finally couldn't handle it anymore and needed to stop and figure out why I'm not understanding the distance. I was convinced that the odometer was broke in the van and Liza was telling me the wrong distances. As I approached the vehicle, I quickly threw out a distractor to Liza and requested some Pop Tarts. When she went looking for the Pop Tarts, I quickly jumped into the passenger seat and grabbed the mileage document. The exchange went something like this:

Liza: (searching for pop tarts) Ricky you only have until I find these pop tarts.
Ricky: (giggling) I need to figure out what's going on here.
Liza: Were not doing this navigation thing again. Your tired, you need to keep moving.
Ricky: Just let me figure it out.
Liza: It's easy Whitney Portal is at the end of this road, now Andy and you need to get out.
Ricky: I NEED GOALS Liza!!
Liza: (As she throws me pop tarts and closes the doors) You want goals...here's a goal...eat all four of these pop tarts by the next time you see me. (drives off).
Ricky to Andy in the middle of the night: Did she just tell me my goal was to eat four pop tarts by the time I see her next? (eating a pop tart and walking in the dark)

The next stop puts me at mile 7 of roughly 11ish miles. I'm excited to report to Liza that I ate all four pop tarts. As I get a water bottle switched out, Ridouane and Eisha pull up. We quickly give hugs and everyone decided that it's time for Eisha to be with me. Liza and Ridouane get in the car and head for the Whitney portal to rest. Andy is now running driver and crew duties and Eisha is walking with me. It was awesome to have Eisha join us. She brought a fresh attitude that quickly picked me up as we worked down the Whitney Portal road. We chatted about her travels over the last few weeks. As the miles ticked down, I began to think that Andy and Liza were in a conspiracy against me. I still felt like they were going out 1.5 miles every time. Now, Andy was also parking in weird spots that was completely messing with me. Andy and I are super close so we would have some super intense exchanges and laughs at each link up. As we moved on the final switch backs, Andy, Eisha, and I decided to have the van park at the end of each switchback. This worked well for me and my goal-oriented brain. Andy let us know that we were 1.5 miles from the portal and we exchange a few lines of conversation as Andy drives off. In that exchange, Andy thought we were good to the portal and drove straight to the portal instead of continuing to crew. This really messed with me because I kept thinking we were going to see him as we made our way to the top. Needless to say, I was grumbling a few choice words toward Andy which was making Eisha laugh.

Eisha and I worked our way up the last switch backs and into Whitney Portal. I couldn't have been happier to finally reach the portal. We located our vehicles and started to walk toward them. Liza and Ridouane were asleep in the car.

Liza and Ridouane sleeping in the car at Whitney Portal
Photo Credit: Eisha Carozza

Andy had the van windows rolled down and was asleep and snoring. Still slightly perturbed about him ditching us 1.5 miles back, I walked up to the van and yelled through the window, "DUDE, why did you ditch us?" As I yelled, Andy woke up out of a deep sleep and starting yelling and kicking back at me. I never laughed so hard in my life. He got out of the van and briefed me the plan. I was to go down for 30-40 minutes and the rest of the crew would get everything prepared for the final push. They helped me get my shoes off, dress down, and put some warm clothes on. I quickly fell asleep for the second time in this crossing. This nap while give me a total of 1.5 hours of sleep time so far in the crossing. I went back into a "Vanilla Sky" style dream state where reality was mixed with thoughts in my head. I was dreaming about one of the happiest moments of my life and feeling the warmth and intensity of the experience. I had an overwhelming feeling of love and I was happy. This all quickly ended when Andy opened the door to the van and telling me that it was time to wake up. I rolled over and tried to determine what was reality and what was a dream-state. I began to cry when I realized I was still on the crossing and not in my happy place. As I woke up, I tried super hard to refocus my thoughts and think positive about this crossing. I kept thinking about why am I putting myself through this suffering. I've done enough suffering and I just want to be happy. My crew very quickly went to work helping me get my stuff ready and pushed me to move forward.

Whitney Portal to the Mount Whitney Summit

I didn't want to move forward. I wanted back in my dream world where I was super happy. I'm not sure if I mumbled something to someone but I heard someone tell me that I can't dwell on those thoughts anymore and I need to focus on putting on step in front of the other.

I don't remember taking this picture - @ Whitney Trail Head
Photo Credit: Eisha Carozza

I would hear people tell me to focus. This went on for a couple of hours. Little did I know that I was walking but also in and out of sleeping. So the voices were from my crew trying to wake me up as I walked the trail. In my mind, I wasn't even there. At one point, I couldn't stay awake any longer and I began to scare myself because we were moving over rocky terrain. I told the crew that I needed to rest and they agree'd. Liza laid her jacket down as an insulator and they got my down jacket out and a sleeping bag and covered me. As I went down for sleep, I knew that I would wake up and the sun would be coming up. I would be through the hard part and we can focus on climbing Whitney.

Straight-up dead to the world
Photo Credit: Eisha Carozza

This time, my sleep had no crazy dreams and when Andy and Liza woke me up, it was if I woke up after a nice long night of sleep. I felt refreshed mentally and my body felt slightly recovered. We picked up the pace a little and before we knew it we were up at the Trail Camp and staring at the 97 switchbacks just below the trail crest.

Liza looking back toward the Whitney Portal

We stop for a quick break and then start working our way up the switchbacks. We kept a solid alpine pace as we slowly worked our up to the Trail Crest. We celebrated our progress and took a couple of pictures before pressing on the technical traverse along the ridge.

At this point, everyone seems to be feeling the effects of the altitude. The pace is slowed to an alpine pace to benefit everyone and ensure that we all make it to the summit.

Working up Switch-backs
Photo Credit: Eisha Carozza

Photo Credit: Eisha Carozza

Quick Power Nap-Eisha is keeping me from falling over
Photo Credit: Eisha Carozza

The Final Push...

Photo Credit: Eisha Carozza

The group continues to move across the ridge. The hiking is slow because of the terrain as well as the altitude. I'm still feeling pretty good from an altitude perspective. The trail is getting a little more populated as we get closer to the summit. We work our way past Mount Muir and the Keeler Needle. We transition onto the last summit push. At this point, I am finally realizing that I am going to complete the Badwater 146 crossing. I have yet to imagine it and now I am roughly 5 minutes from the summit. I'm in the lead and Liza is behind me. Ridouane, Eisha, and Andy aren't too far behind us. Liza and I are chatting to each other about the experience and I am doing everything in my power to keep it together. I try not to look at Liza because I know I'll lose it. We slow up the pace so the rest of the group catches up. I want for all of us to reach the summit at the same time.

We make a couple more traverses and we are finally within view of the summit hut. As I see the hut, tears begin to roll down my face and I can't control it anymore. I'm in disbelief that I'm going to finish something that I couldn't even imagine finishing. I slowly move past the hut and start to see the actual summit.

Photo Credit: Eisha Carozza

Physically, my legs hurt. Mentally, I'm exhausted on all levels and it's hard to focus. Emotionally, I have nothing in the tank as I walk toward to the summit. I have tears running down my face and I'm not feeling anything at this point. I am simply focused at getting to the benchmark and sitting down. I'm still staggering a little as I work my way up to the summit. As I hit the summit, the crew starts chanting "146...146...146...146" and everyone is now looking at us. I get to the edge of the summit and very slowly sit down and look toward Death Valley. People are clapping and talking with the crew and I just sit there crying and trying to reflect on all the miles that we just completed. I get this overwhelming release and life of burden off of my shoulders. I have just finished the Badwater 146 and have now completed my 6th ultra-marathon. The feeling is overwhelming and gets worse as my crew continues to hug me and congratulate me. I wouldn't have been able to push through the dark moments without them and all my other intrinsic motivations. It's hard to explain what the human body goes through during the Badwater 146 crossing.

I stop my timer and take a screenshot for the record of my total time on the crossing.

Andy and Liza weren't feeling well so we took a quick group shot on the summit before they started their rapid descent off of Mt. Whitney.

Eisha, Riduoane, and I hung out a little longer. After a few minutes, everyone was off doing their own thing and I was still sitting down and soaking in the moment. I had put my down jacket on and was feeling pretty toasty. I remember looking out toward Death Valley and thinking about all the difficulties that the crew and I were dealing with. Now, we were standing on top of Mt. Whitney and 110% happy with the results.

I finally mustered up enough energy to start walking around. I wanted some summit shots of the area and I need to find the benchmark and sign the summit log which would be the record of my Badwater 146 completion.